Mom and dad never taught me how to swim
They tried… Let’s be fair.
Swimming classes and family members trying to make me and my sister understand how to
“push water back”
“keep moving our legs”
I don’t know….I just never got the hang of it.
And always thought that if I never go into a water body, I’ll never drown.
Won’t have to keep moving my legs, breathe properly or push the water back.
I did learn to float though.
Just in case.
(What an idiot)
Well turns out you can drown. Even when you’re not in water.
Even when you’re walking, working, going to college, you can drown.
Drown in the work. Drown in the tasks, the projects, practicals, Dramas, duties, ambitions, aims, etc etc
I am drowning right now.
With so much to do and so much to learn in such short span of time.
Drowning in my own expectations, own demands, own feelings, own emotions and just my own life.
And I can’t push this water back, I can’t keep breathing properly and I can’t keep moving my legs.
I don’t know how to.
(And I don’t know whether it’s even possible)
Holding on desperately to the small boulders, trees, logs which are spread through out my river of life,
But my hands hurt…. And they all almost always become too tough to hold on to. And almost always, I leave them and crash into the next thing….
Out from one rapid into the other.
But I’m done now. Done holding on. Done trying to slow my river down.
Thank God I learned how to float.
I will be floating for a bit.
Its scary, floating. You don’t know what will happen, whom/what you’ll crash into, you’re not the master, the water guides you.
But I am assuming, that it’ll be better than drowning. Or crashing.
So I’m gonna be floating for a while. Thank God I learned how to…..