Floating 

Mom and dad never taught me how to swim

They tried… Let’s be fair.

Swimming classes and family members trying to make me and my sister understand how to

 “push water back”

 “breathe properly” 

“keep moving our legs” 

I don’t know….I just never got the hang of it.

And always thought that if I never go into a water body, I’ll never drown.

Won’t have  to keep moving my legs, breathe properly or push the water back.

I did learn to float though.

Just in case.

(What an idiot)

Well turns out you can drown. Even when you’re not in water.

Even when you’re walking, working, going to college, you can drown.

Drown in the work. Drown in the tasks, the projects, practicals, Dramas, duties, ambitions, aims, etc etc

I am drowning right now.

With so much to do and so much to learn in such short span of time.

Drowning in my own expectations, own demands, own feelings, own emotions and just my own life.

And I can’t push this water back, I can’t keep breathing properly and I can’t keep moving my legs.

I don’t know how to.

(And I don’t know whether it’s even possible)

Holding on desperately to the small boulders, trees, logs which are spread through out my river of life,

But my hands hurt…. And they all almost always become too tough to hold on to. And almost always, I leave them and crash into the next thing….

Out from one rapid into the other.

But I’m done now. Done holding on. Done trying to slow my river down.

Thank God I learned how to float.

I will be floating for a bit.

Its scary, floating. You don’t know what will happen, whom/what you’ll crash into, you’re not the  master, the water guides you.

But I am assuming, that it’ll be better than drowning. Or crashing.

So I’m gonna be floating for a while. Thank God I learned how to…..

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How to remove a corrupt Government 

If I start by giving examples of how much the “Government” in our country is lacking/corrupt/not working/lazy/whatever negative adjectives you love to use, I’d probably never get to the point. 

The fact that despite all the progress, there are many areas in our “Incredible India”  that are not only unremarkable in their existence and function but rather poor in every sense of the word is evidence enough of our failing Government. 

The reason? Well,  why should we think of a reason, let’s just blame corruption! After all, “we the people”  are also victims of an awfully corrupt bureaucracy and legislation. Corruption has destroyed our country. (A statement every citizen of India swears by.) 

Today, I have a question for these “we the people”. Now as you know, a corrupt Government is not one person/body/thing. Its an organization. So can you tell me, what is the unit of this organization? In other words, what constitutes this corrupt Government? Isn’t it people? Ordinary humans who hold some position. But nonetheless, people. 

What is the point of the above question you ask, for when you blame the corruption, you are blaming these individuals, these people, who harm the citizens, take  their hard earned money and live a luxury life.  So what’s the point of all these words? 

Well the point is, people are essentially the same. So yeah, these “Government” people are corrupt. But aren’t you too? Do you, reader, give your best in the work you do? Do you, work properly and complete all your duties, not because there’s a sword hanging on your neck, but because you want to. Do you do that? Will you be as much productive as you are now, if your boss/official/head/teacher was not there to keep a check on you. Or was far away.  Who’re you fooling. Of course you wouldn’t be. And that makes you corrupt. Just like these people you blame. 

Corruption does not just mean taking money and doing illegal stuff. It is any form of dishonesty, any alteration, any manipulation, and any form of misconduct and deceit. So, when you just copy your friend’s assignment and submit it, you are corrupt. When you just charge some extra momey from your customer, you are corrupt. When you intentionally procrastinate and not give your full effort in all that you do, you are corrupt. 

I wonder, if everyone would do their work, their duties, whatever that may be to the best of their abilities, where would we stand? It is very easy to blame other people and forget that you are just like them. I feel that we have a really crappy work ethic. We want fun and we want fruit of our labours without any labour. And in a way, it is right. I mean, c’mon, pay without work! Awesome! But then we are in no position to blame others. If you can be selfish, they can be selfish too. How do you expect justice or fairness or progress for that matter. You ain’t putting in effort mate, you won’t evolve. Its simple. 

So next time when you sit in front of TV or newspaper, blaming the authorities, evaluate your work and your potential first. Working for your country doesn’t have to mean great sacrifices or noble prize worthy work (which is not at all wrong by the way! You should do it if you can). It can simply mean giving your best wherever you are. Fulfilling your duties. A little goes a long way. Maybe this way, everyone will eventually start doing what they’re supposed to do. And then we won’t have a corrupt Government at all. 

This Time I’ll Go The Distance 

Common knowledge suggests that the people we are surrounded with have a huge impact on our lives. They can determine our satisfaction level, our motivation level, and even our happiness level. Our psychological state,  therefore, depends a lot on the people around us.

This post however, is not about the importance of good company or the malicious effect of a bad one. On the other hand I firmly believe that even though external factors do play a role in determining a person’s psychological state, the ‘person’ in question,  has the ability to bring about a change,  in whichever way she/he wants.  This post is therefore a reminder, that at the end of the day, you,  human, can do and be whatever you want to be. 

Its a personal observation…. I am mostly surrounded by two types of people, one are those who are talented and have also have the drive in them to achieve their dreams. And two those who are talented but lack this drive. Where the former category is want to work, take chances, learn and move forward. The latter is content and accepting of their current situations. They put in only that amount of effort which is required to just pass through life. 

Now,  its not that one is better than the other. Both are equally right in their own position and from their own perspective. In fact, for the balance of nature, its imperative that both these categories exist. 

The problem for me begins when both these categories are equal in number,  and are together for long duration. Say an year…. 

In such a situation, the extreme natures of both the groups interact and neutralise each other. Consider, for better illustration, two equally strong people pulling a block from two opposite sides. The result is that the box remains stationary. 

No, I am not the box. I am a third category altogether. For even though I do have the drive to move forward and achieve all that I can, I do have my fair share of doubts and I am quite lazy. I often require an external support or puah or maybe just a little hint. So at the end of the day, I am left staring at that box,  torn between the side I want to be in. Waiting for the result of this invisible tug of war. 

Now, before I am bombarded with suggestions, or disagreements, I’d like to remind the reader that this is how I feel. And for someone else, it may or may not be true. 

Anyways. So this is where I am in my life at this point. And I should also tell the reader that this is not my first time being here. From my previous experience, I’ve noticed that whenever such a situation arises I do not go the distance I need to in order to achieve my dreams. I become stagnant. Just like the box. Just like  my environment.

But now! Enough is enough! I am tired of waiting. Tired of the box to be moving. I am tired of finding a person, who’ll accompany me to my destination. I’m tired of doubting myself. So this time, I’m leaving the box altogether. I am going the diatance. Venturing into the middle of the river of life alone without a life jacket. 

I’m sure it will be a lonely place. And I know I may not end up anywhere. But it will still be something new. Something unique. It may even be fun! But most importantly, it will not be stagnant. 

I hope you’re well reader! And I thank you for being here. Please let me know if you relate to this! Have a nice day! 🙂 

Let it Rain

For these dark clouds only melt

If you’d rather let it Rain

Do not hold back 

Do not swallow those tears

Do not think for once 

That you can’t be sad or fear

Don’t pretend to be happy

Rather let it rain

Don’t pretend to be so strong

Don’t try to ignore pain

For these dark clouds’ll only melt

If you’d rather let it Rain

#LifeLessonsFromNature

How are you?

Heyoo! How are you?

No, really, think about it? How are you?

Isn’t it such a simple and overused question? We meet some one and it’s one of the first thing we ask….

“Hello, how are you?” Or “Heyy, ssup? How’s it going?” Or “How’ve you been?” Or in Hindi “kaise ho?” (Or maybe if you’re Joey from friends you’ll ask “How you doin?” :P)

Funny thing is, just like the question, the answer too is meaningless. Nobody actually “answers” this question. At least not in the first go, not even to our closest of friends….at most if you’ve been kinda “sucky”, you’ll probably give a reply which is a variable of ” meh!” 

But today, I heard the weirdest and yet one of the most profound reply to it. 

In my internship today I was working in Speech Therapy, observing the therapy sessions of young kids. So this young boy of around 6 walks in. Shy kid all smiling and hiding behind his mother. My supervisor welcomed the kid and started off with pretty basic stuff. Called the kid forward, said hello, asked his name, asked him to greet everyone etc. Moving on, next question, “How are you?” And suddenly, the kid says “I’m Happy”. Everyone started laughing. My supervisor tried to gently tell him, ” It’s good that you’re happy baby, in fact we can see that, but reply to the greeting properly. How are you?” She asked again. And again that kid said “I’m happy”.

She asked him this question four times and that kid did not change his reply even after prompting. (Hats off to the persistence though!) 

Up until an hour ago, I did not pay much attention to this incident. But then one of my friend whom I was chatting with after a long time asked me, ” how are you?” And I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of that kid, insisting that he is indeed happy!

Well, even though this was not the reply we were seeking, there is a certain honesty and depth to it. Isn’t it amazing that as kids humans know what happiness is and above that, they are not afraid to show it? 

This incident also made me wonder another thing, why do we ask this question when we are not ready for the real answer, negative or positive!? 

Anyways, this question for me will never have the same meaning. 

I hope that this kid’s answer always remains the same. And I also hope that someday, I too will say “I’m Happy” to this prosaic and mundane question, and mean it! 

Okay! See you later! Bbye!

Just Enjoy

Heyoo! Ssup?

Let’s start today’s post in a classic cable advertisment format! (Why? Well, just for fun!)

Are you bored with every task you do? Do you feel like you want to go on a long long loonnnnggg break? Do you try “new things” but still feel the “old way”? Are you feeling listless and uninspired? 

Well worry not! That’s it! Worry not! And ENJOYYYY.

What? What was that you ask? Let me explain

I used to feel the same way, I too did not want to live a boring uninspired life. But then….

I realised that….

I was forgetting to enjoy it!

(Okay, now normal tone please! :P)

With so much stuff and so many people around us, we tend to jump from one task to the other. The breaks in between are few (talking about mental breaks) and are usually consumed by different types of social media. Now by “tasks” I don’t mean only the things related to work. These tasks can be anything, from brushing your teeth to bathing, to watching TV etc. 

We often (dare I say usually) just complete what we’re doing and move on, during which we forget to enjoy! Believe it or not these mundane things can be super fun! In fact they are. It’s us who’ve lost the ability to have fun for we only either think about the million things that should be worried about or are busy in just somehow completing our daily goals one after the other. And even when we reach our “relaxation time” or something like that, we aren’t really relaxing or enjoying it. 

I am doing an internship which has me working with differently abled children. Many of them suffer from different things but they all have something in common. They enjoy like crazy when they’re playing games (or are made to think they are playing games) or doing stuff that they wanted. And they are so happy in that moment that it feels weird just looking at them. They squeal in happiness and laugh and just enjoy every second of it. 

So I took inspiration from these lovely kids and tried to enjoy. Turns out I suck at it for I have an attention span of a goldfish! But today in Yoga Camp (don’t freak out, its an online series, click here to check it out) the practice was to enjoy. That’s when I got the hang of it! And now….*sing-song* I’m standing in the rain, writing my blog, it’s sad for my phone, but I’m having funnnn! *end-sing-song*

Humans are so silly, they got a life, they got a brain, they were then placed on an amazingly big rock which is floating without any (visible) support in vacuum (or shall we say nothingness), and this rock has some really awesome features and things but they still can’t have fun and keep worrying about stuff that won’t even have a meaning after some time!

Anyways! I am disassociating with this sad and tensed human species and I’m gonna go enjoy my two baths (one in rain, and the other cause my mum will kill me if she knew I’ve been out in the rain again). You decide what you want for yourself today! 

See yaa! Bbye! 💜

P.S. I just realized that this post reminds me of a song which used to be my favorite… The Show by Lenka! (Google here I come)

Scary Brain.

Human brain is the scariest thing. It can make up anything and everything. Make us believe anything and everything. Sometimes I go for a stroll on the roof of my house at night and an uncanny feeling sets in. A feeling that there’s a ghost or a dead thing like a zombie behind me. It’s creeping up to me….silently. And any second i will grab or tap my shoulder and I’ll be facing an ugly creepy face. 

Basically I feel like I’m in any standard horror movie. 

Of course I know it’s all a figment of my imagination. I know that full well. My conscious brain knows the truth. But still, like a crazy person, my neck does prickle. My knees do feel a little weak and I get minor goosebumps. And still almost 8 times out of 10, I do turn around to check and I do finish my walk and rush downstairs at full speed. 

It’s weird isn’t it? But to my defense, there’s this really shady corner besides my roof where all kinds of shadows are formed. 

And that’s not all my brain does. Sometimes I have full fledged arguments! With people of my imagination, or people doing stuff in my imagination. Sometimes I even make myself cry just by thinking various things. 

I know all this is pretty common (esp with people having overactive imagination like mine). But that’s the scary part. The fact that this…this weird power of human brain is common. The fact that our brains can control us if we don’t pay attention, and make us feel and believe things that don’t exist. 

If we were to notice, we’d see that all these automatic thoughts are usually those which either scare us or prepare us from things that don’t exist. 

It’s good that now I know that my brain is playing tricks. I can rationalise with it much better. I can contradict it much better. But what of those millions who don’t realise that it’s not the “other” or the “world” that’s harmful for most of the time its their own self.

A Love Letter to Rain

Stay today rain. Heal us. Cool us down. Make the winds dance and make the drops drizzle. 

Dear Rain

I’ve been calling you. 

Again and again and again.

I know you’ve been busy flirting with the clouds. But they always ditch you don’t they? Throw you to the earth mercilessly! Can’t you see how dark they are?

Why don’t you get it? It’s us who love you! Who miss you. It’s us who despite our miserable existence lighten up when you rustle the leaves of our trees! It’s us who stay ready with pakoras and tea to welcome you to our humble aboard! And yet you go away! 

Do you know what the heat’s been doing? It’s killing people. Making us mad! Making us angry and sad! Everything is burned! 

Stay today rain. Heal us. Cool us down. Make the winds dance and make the drops drizzle. But don’t cause destruction. Don’t be angry today for we can use some love and happiness. In fact, we need a day out with our loved ones, just enough for a lovely coffee. 

We love you rain (well those of us who’re sane!). So please stay. Stay for a while. It’s good to have you here! You’re the best!

Love

A rain-crazed earthling! 💜

Thoughts under the Moon

If only we stop humanising everything

Here I am once again, wishing for a power cut

To the streetlight I want to say goodbye

So that I’m left alone, in this light breeze and calming moonlight.

So that I forget I’m human, and I have to lead a chaotic life.

So that at the stars I can gaze, peacefully tonight.
It’s almost full moon

The sky is as clear as it can be. 

If only we stop humanising everything,

We can have moonlit silver bodies.

Maybe the stars will guide me, If I can find some in this pollution

Maybe I would’ve been free, If I wasn’t a human.

Maybe I’d have enjoyed much more, If I wasn’t human!

We ain’t dead

For all those people (and trust me there are!) who’re living under the impression that this blog is dead and it was “just a phase”, you couldn’t be more wrong! 

No we aren’t dead. We aren’t over. We were just on a break! –What up Friends reference!!! (And superwoman too! :P)

And now that we’re back, I’ll ask you one question…..What is your passion in life?

(Surprised at the question? ) From the past few weeks, this question along with others has haunted me. 

What is your passion? What d’you want to do after graduation ? Where do you want to go? How do you want to live your life? Which career do you want to pursue?

Now unlike those lucky *#*#**#* who know what they’re ” born” to do, I am as confused and as messed up as my cupboard! (Trust me there is no better analogy) How do you decide what your passion is? How can you come to the conclusion that “this” is what I’d like to do for the rest of my life and will be happy ever after! I don’t know how much I’ll like it after two years or three years. And how can you expect that my fickle brain would stay happy in that one kind of job forever?

Don’t even get me started on those preaching puckers who have their lofe set and then tell you “it’s okay to not have decisions ready at the moment, you can take time”. Both these people and theor advise are annoying! I mean yeahh I know I can take time, but will I? Don’t you know me at all? And even if I do, and I still don’t know what to do….then? 

Okay! So back to passion! How do you know what your passion is!? Do people who throw this question at everyone they see (sorry that’s what I did up there, but I hope by now you realise this is a rant!) Do you realise, only a handful of people know what their passion is? Others like us, are clueless. And happy to just have a really good pizza! 

I am honestly stumped! Please tell me you are too! And that’s a really stupid question! Whoever asked it first is dead to me! (And the rest of the world too, for that person must’ve died centuries ago!) 

But you know who isn’t dead? Me! And all of you clueless people out there! We ain’t dead. No no! We can figure stuff out (i hope). And i don’t know about you, but I’ll do everything and anything till the time I either find my “passion” or become broke or super rich. I’ll do what adriene tells me to do! I’ll find what feels good and live in the moment, experimenting thousands of things till I find the right one. (But I’ll start with the things that can make me super rich! 😛 you know, should derive something from this trial and error research!) It’s time to stop obsessing over passions and start experiments with life. 

Have a good day! Bbye!