Floating 

Mom and dad never taught me how to swim

They tried… Let’s be fair.

Swimming classes and family members trying to make me and my sister understand how to

 “push water back”

 “breathe properly” 

“keep moving our legs” 

I don’t know….I just never got the hang of it.

And always thought that if I never go into a water body, I’ll never drown.

Won’t have  to keep moving my legs, breathe properly or push the water back.

I did learn to float though.

Just in case.

(What an idiot)

Well turns out you can drown. Even when you’re not in water.

Even when you’re walking, working, going to college, you can drown.

Drown in the work. Drown in the tasks, the projects, practicals, Dramas, duties, ambitions, aims, etc etc

I am drowning right now.

With so much to do and so much to learn in such short span of time.

Drowning in my own expectations, own demands, own feelings, own emotions and just my own life.

And I can’t push this water back, I can’t keep breathing properly and I can’t keep moving my legs.

I don’t know how to.

(And I don’t know whether it’s even possible)

Holding on desperately to the small boulders, trees, logs which are spread through out my river of life,

But my hands hurt…. And they all almost always become too tough to hold on to. And almost always, I leave them and crash into the next thing….

Out from one rapid into the other.

But I’m done now. Done holding on. Done trying to slow my river down.

Thank God I learned how to float.

I will be floating for a bit.

Its scary, floating. You don’t know what will happen, whom/what you’ll crash into, you’re not the  master, the water guides you.

But I am assuming, that it’ll be better than drowning. Or crashing.

So I’m gonna be floating for a while. Thank God I learned how to…..

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Let it Rain

For these dark clouds only melt

If you’d rather let it Rain

Do not hold back 

Do not swallow those tears

Do not think for once 

That you can’t be sad or fear

Don’t pretend to be happy

Rather let it rain

Don’t pretend to be so strong

Don’t try to ignore pain

For these dark clouds’ll only melt

If you’d rather let it Rain

#LifeLessonsFromNature

There’s Something Inside Me

There’s  something inside me that refuses to come clean

There’s something inside me that i cannot explain but feel

This something  is scared of innumerable things

Of future, of life, of living beings. 
There’s something inside me 

Everyday it screams 

I try but cannot understand  its needs. 

It shouts and shouts and affects  me deeply 

But this something  is not definable with the words of my dictionary. 
Every thing I do every step I take

Is influenced by something beyond my control

This something powerful yet it refuses to be identified  at all. 
Please leave you’re  hurting  me

Something  go away. 

Leave me and never find your way back here. 

A Time Like This

If I could stop time, it’d be a time like this…..

Cool eastern winds,

Playing with the green leaves,

Bringing respite to the scorching April heat.

The sky is a light blue,

Like a calm milky sea,

But the sun is trying to break the dawn

And turn yellow everything.

The air has a little hint of petrichor

And my sleepy head is wrapped comfortably in it

If I could stop time, it’d be a time like this…..

(21/4/2017…7Am, Delhi)

Thoughts under the Moon

If only we stop humanising everything

Here I am once again, wishing for a power cut

To the streetlight I want to say goodbye

So that I’m left alone, in this light breeze and calming moonlight.

So that I forget I’m human, and I have to lead a chaotic life.

So that at the stars I can gaze, peacefully tonight.
It’s almost full moon

The sky is as clear as it can be. 

If only we stop humanising everything,

We can have moonlit silver bodies.

Maybe the stars will guide me, If I can find some in this pollution

Maybe I would’ve been free, If I wasn’t a human.

Maybe I’d have enjoyed much more, If I wasn’t human!

Magic Isn’t Lost!

Magic isn’t lost!
These muggles lie
This moment, this life
Are magical, I swear.

You need to look you need to trust
Believe and respect the Universe!

Embrace the moment and never forget
You’re a stack of meat and bones
Walking on a flying planet!

These muggles they’ll tell you
Get real, grow up
They do that, you see
They’ve been duped by situations.

But magic is here,
It’s not difficult to find
Your eyes can see it
Try changing your mind!

And when you find it,
Enjoy till you drop,
And then tell your friends,
That magic isn’t lost..

(Photograph : Aakriti Hans)

Aprajita Rana

Onism

But I am stuck here with one vessel
Finite, in an infinite world.

The morning sky
The wet grass
They’re infinite.

In number, in presence
In space and being
They are uninhibited.

Onism*, sorrow,
A nagging feeling
I am not enough
To live and see
All the gardens, animals and trees.

I wish I had 10-20 bodies
I could’ve gone and seen much more
But I am stuck here with one vessel
Finite, in an infinite world.

 

(*Onism :the frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
This poem was inspired by a YouTube video which I happened to watch the other day for I was intrigued by the title. Click here to watch it)

Picture Credits: AAKRITI HANS

To work or not to work

 

Work. Your late. Run.
Sit. Concentrate. But do have fun.
Enjoy what you do.
Do what you love.
Be focussed, be attentive,
Be mindful now.

But tell me really honestly!
How many of these can I really be?
If I’m so restarained
How can I be free?
If I’m so worried,
When will I be happy?

Advices from here and there too
Ways and methods to “be you”
Tips to live and tips to explore
The inner self, the very core.

But what if all this is overrated,
Why work so hard
When you can be satiated
With a good book and coffee
With little stillness and a good sleep
Dolce Far Niente*
Doing nothing
Not really surviving, just being.

*Dolce Far Niente, loosly translated to the sweetness of doing nothing is a famous poem by Paul Hamilton Hayne. These words also feature in the famous movie Eat Pray Love. This post is what I felt when I was reminded of this phrase yesterday. Thank you for your time, have a nice day, keep smiling 🙂

Aprajita Rana

For Im a Restless Soul

I scoff at the calmness
You wish to inculcate in me
The tranquility, the sereneness
Of meditation and quiet time.

I laugh at your attempt to slow me down
To make me look and feel
The world around
And appreciate the “abundance” and scenes

Im a person meant to be crazy
Im a person who is alive in stress
I dont sit still you see
I have a soul which is restless

I’ll probably even defy death
And haunt the lanes of my cemetery
So how dare you tell me to calm myself
My life needs to be a troubled memory!

Aprajita Rana

The Moon Life

 

If you’d ask me to choose
Between the mighty sun
And the delicate moon
I’ll probably not think twice
In telling you that I love the moonlit nights.

Where the glory of the sun
Cannot be denied
It’s the moon’s life story
My dainty heart cries

For like me it capriciously
Changes phase
Waning one day
Admist the hard life’s chase,
While on others it will brightly shine
And surround the world in it’s light divine.

Somedays are tough
Darkness surrounds us all
No hope no dreams, 
No nightingale’s call.

All is lost in gloomy 
Dark dismal despair
Ebony night becomes
The new moon’s lair.

Don’t worry my friend
Efforts never go in vain
We are lunartics and survivors
We don’t lose to disdain.

In a fortnight you’ll see
We’ll shine again in this dark
We are not scared so easy
You’ll never dull our spark.