This Time I’ll Go The DistanceĀ 

Common knowledge suggests that the people we are surrounded with have a huge impact on our lives. They can determine our satisfaction level, our motivation level, and even our happiness level. Our psychological state,  therefore, depends a lot on the people around us.

This post however, is not about the importance of good company or the malicious effect of a bad one. On the other hand I firmly believe that even though external factors do play a role in determining a person’s psychological state, the ‘person’ in question,  has the ability to bring about a change,  in whichever way she/he wants.  This post is therefore a reminder, that at the end of the day, you,  human, can do and be whatever you want to be. 

Its a personal observation…. I am mostly surrounded by two types of people, one are those who are talented and have also have the drive in them to achieve their dreams. And two those who are talented but lack this drive. Where the former category is want to work, take chances, learn and move forward. The latter is content and accepting of their current situations. They put in only that amount of effort which is required to just pass through life. 

Now,  its not that one is better than the other. Both are equally right in their own position and from their own perspective. In fact, for the balance of nature, its imperative that both these categories exist. 

The problem for me begins when both these categories are equal in number,  and are together for long duration. Say an year…. 

In such a situation, the extreme natures of both the groups interact and neutralise each other. Consider, for better illustration, two equally strong people pulling a block from two opposite sides. The result is that the box remains stationary. 

No, I am not the box. I am a third category altogether. For even though I do have the drive to move forward and achieve all that I can, I do have my fair share of doubts and I am quite lazy. I often require an external support or puah or maybe just a little hint. So at the end of the day, I am left staring at that box,  torn between the side I want to be in. Waiting for the result of this invisible tug of war. 

Now, before I am bombarded with suggestions, or disagreements, I’d like to remind the reader that this is how I feel. And for someone else, it may or may not be true. 

Anyways. So this is where I am in my life at this point. And I should also tell the reader that this is not my first time being here. From my previous experience, I’ve noticed that whenever such a situation arises I do not go the distance I need to in order to achieve my dreams. I become stagnant. Just like the box. Just like  my environment.

But now! Enough is enough! I am tired of waiting. Tired of the box to be moving. I am tired of finding a person, who’ll accompany me to my destination. I’m tired of doubting myself. So this time, I’m leaving the box altogether. I am going the diatance. Venturing into the middle of the river of life alone without a life jacket. 

I’m sure it will be a lonely place. And I know I may not end up anywhere. But it will still be something new. Something unique. It may even be fun! But most importantly, it will not be stagnant. 

I hope you’re well reader! And I thank you for being here. Please let me know if you relate to this! Have a nice day! šŸ™‚ 

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The Free Ride

It was a normal day, 
A normal drive home...Ā 
Me and my friend navigating Delhi's traffic, 
I was cursing the drivers ahead, 
And she was absorbed in her phone.Ā 
 
Our scooty ride was almost over, 
When I realised we had with us another rider, 
A lizard was on my knee! 
Sitting like a king on his Chariot.Ā 

It was so funny and weird! 
Took me some minutes to comprehend... 
Panic did set in, 
Not in me but in my friend!Ā 
 
I stopped Ā shook my leg, 
But I think she liked it... 
For the lizard didn't move, 
It was like "Meh, human, I don't mind this".
Ā 
Well my human ego was hurt pretty bad! 
I couldn't shake a lizard off!Ā 
For when it budged, it jumped on my other leg!!!Ā 

She actually gave me a lookĀ 
Before she finally descended... 
Mean and ungrateful lizard!!!Ā 
At least you could have nodded a thank you! 

I mean I gave you a free ride! 
And I was super nice! 
I know now why humans hate you! 
Lizzy you've got wayyyy too much pride! šŸ˜‘

How are you?

Heyoo! How are you?

No, really, think about it? How are you?

Isn’t it such a simple and overused question? We meet some one and it’s one of the first thing we ask….

“Hello, how are you?” Or “Heyy, ssup? How’s it going?” Or “How’ve you been?” Or in Hindi “kaise ho?” (Or maybe if you’re Joey from friends you’ll ask “How you doin?” :P)

Funny thing is, just like the question, the answer too is meaningless. Nobody actually “answers” this question. At least not in the first go, not even to our closest of friends….at most if you’ve been kinda “sucky”, you’ll probably give a reply which is a variable of ” meh!” 

But today, I heard the weirdest and yet one of the most profound reply to it. 

In my internship today I was working in Speech Therapy, observing the therapy sessions of young kids. So this young boy of around 6 walks in. Shy kid all smiling and hiding behind his mother. My supervisor welcomed the kid and started off with pretty basic stuff. Called the kid forward, said hello, asked his name, asked him to greet everyone etc. Moving on, next question, “How are you?” And suddenly, the kid says “I’m Happy”. Everyone started laughing. My supervisor tried to gently tell him, ” It’s good that you’re happy baby, in fact we can see that, but reply to the greeting properly. How are you?” She asked again. And again that kid said “I’m happy”.

She asked him this question four times and that kid did not change his reply even after prompting. (Hats off to the persistence though!) 

Up until an hour ago, I did not pay much attention to this incident. But then one of my friend whom I was chatting with after a long time asked me, ” how are you?” And I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of that kid, insisting that he is indeed happy!

Well, even though this was not the reply we were seeking, there is a certain honesty and depth to it. Isn’t it amazing that as kids humans know what happiness is and above that, they are not afraid to show it? 

This incident also made me wonder another thing, why do we ask this question when we are not ready for the real answer, negative or positive!? 

Anyways, this question for me will never have the same meaning. 

I hope that this kid’s answer always remains the same. And I also hope that someday, I too will say “I’m Happy” to this prosaic and mundane question, and mean it! 

Okay! See you later! Bbye!

Find What Feels Good

Do you ever wake up with an inner conflict that has you torn between whether to enjoy your life, be where you are or whether to GO OUT and get out of your comfort zone?

Well, surprisingly, I do.

I used to hate both these “philosophies”. Both contradicting each other but both claiming to help you improve your life, find yourself, and what not. But it turns out I had both of them wrong….

For me getting out of your comfort zone meant forcing yourself to do things in ways you don’t want to. Trying everything and anything. Whereas loving what you have right now meant being happy with what you have and just flowing through life without wanting more.

Now it may be that I misinterpreted both these school of thoughts, or it may be that the innumerable self help sites which force their opinion on you, do not delve much into their meanings. Nonetheless, I think I had an epiphany today…

So I wake up today sick and feeling awful. Cold, cough, and all the irritants that occupy this condition were dragging me down. I desperately wanted to feel better and be able to go to college, so I did what I do when I’m clueless. Yoga.

This post is not about yoga or its benefits. So don’t worry I will not list a 1000 reasons to practice yoga whether you want to or not.

Anyways, I like the fact that I can get my mind off things when I do some routines so usually when I do not feel “hippie”, I find a yoga for that situation. Sure enough, it was ” yoga for when you are sick” today. And like all the other times, Google (God bless for Google), listed a million links and videos which had the power to help me (no matter how remotely).

This is where my conflict or rather internal argument began. There is this one yoga channel that I absolutely love (Yoga with Adriene) and I love to explore new videos and routines she posts. Ofcourse there was a yoga routine for when you’re sick. And it began,
“I am too comfortable with Adriene now, shouldn’t I explore more channels? See what they have to offer”
“But Adriene’s the best. Other channels are boring and monotonous, you know it…”
“Yeah, but I haven’t tried all of them yet, let’s try a new instructor today”.

So the get out of you comfort zone department won, and I was trying to follow a different channel which I could only bear for 5 mins and was back with Adriene after that.

Sad on my inability to try out new stuff, it finally hit me….

Both these philosophies are same in their basic meaning. Find what feels good. (Something that Adriene keeps reinforcing and reminding us in every video).

Both the thoughts want us to explore new things. Where the first tells us to go and try things which intrigue us and not be afraid to step out of the routine, the other tells us to explore new areas in things we love already.

They both want us to explore and find new stuff that we can genuinely enjoy. In other words, FIND WHAT FEELS GOOD.

So if I like coffee, I don’t have to force myself to have tea every morning. I am allowed to enjoy my coffee. Maybe try different forma of it and see which one I love. And if, someday, a type of tea, say green tea, intrigues us, makes us think,
“Yeah, I’d like to know how it tastes” …we should go and try it.

And there you have it. My brain’s bs out on this blog. Now I don’t know what makes sense and what does not, for I am sick and not in my senses. But all I want to say is, find what feels good and have fun.
Bbye! šŸ™‚

Aprajita Rana